Hello, filthy lovers, my fellow retarded romance junkies. Have you ever wondered why do you like certain type of human being? Or even further, a certain human being itself? Doesn’t it bug you just how lucky (or doomed) you are to fall in love with that special person, a very specific man/woman? Why him/her among all other millions out there?
First of all, it has something to do with us humans being accurately classified as animals. Therefore, biology plays huge role in this catastrophe. We must accept that attraction is a result of an ancient feature; animal nature. This nature is the one that makes us run a kind of subroutine or program which consists of following commands:
- find a good genetic match
- mate
- reproduce
- raise offsprings
Of course, biology aside, we are fully conscious that as a human being which is also a part of certain society, there are (too) many restrictions in finding that “perfect match”; sex, belief, family, economy, you name it. We are well aware that some things are just not acceptable by society (yet), but then again, in reality it is impossible to keep biology out of the picture. It is the main drive, the one reigning our brain when we’re falling in love with someone. The cocktail created by the combination of two words which describes humans perfectly, “social animals”, makes the decision making process even more complicated, often uncontrollable, let alone explainable.
Once we know that the culprit is that biological factor again, we can easily guess who’s the first to blame; yes, those goddamn hormones squirting all over the place. According to a study from Rodgers University, there are four types of hormones that contributes to all the sensations we’re experiencing during attraction to certain person:
- dopamine, which is for reward like the same as cocaine or great foods
- serotonin, which makes us think that we’re going temporarily insane
- testosterone,
- estrogen/oxytocin,
They’re all each tied to different personality types. According to the studies, a dopamine-person tends to be more impulsive and reward driven while a serotonin-person are less anxious but tends not to take any risk. These two tend to be attracted to the same type. Unlike dopamine-person and serotonin-person, testosterone-person and estrogen/oxytocin-person tend to be attracted to the other types; a testosterone-person tends to crave for an estrogen/oxytocin-person as a partner and vice versa. A testosterone-person tends to be more analytical and competitive while an estrogen/oxytocin-person tends to be more empathetic and social. Note that this whole testosterone-estrogen/oxytocin thing has nothing to do with one being male or female. There are males who are estrogen/oxytocin-persons and females who are testosterone-persons.
Like other events in our universe, the previously described madness doesn’t last forever (nothing last forever but the earth and sky — Dust In The Wind, Kansas…sorry but I just couldn’t resist). After a while, another hormone’s going to kick in. Vasopressin is the replacement chemical that creates the condition called “sustained coupling”, forming longer term bonds which we see everyday in the form of elderly couples. The brain changes compared to the initial condition when attraction first strike. An early stage of attraction and falling in love is usually full of anxiety but as the bond gets stronger and more mature, the feeling kind of change into somewhat like a pain relief.
Assuming my fellow readers now understand the science a bit, I think it’s equally important that we must accept no one is able to fully control “falling in love”, let alone giving specific commands like who we may/must fall in love with. It’s all nothing but human (or animal) nature. For all of you who are currently attracted to someone or falling for someone, let me give you an advice: Don’t run away, just embrace all the emotions that come with it, enjoy it. There’s never a guarantee that you’ll have another chance to experience “falling in love” again another time, hm?
“But what about telling my special one that I’m in love with him/her? I can’t just stay being attracted forever, not in this stage for the rest of my life.” I’m sorry but that’s a whole different topic, which unfortunately is currently not under my jurisdiction. But if you insist me to give an answer, even the dumbest possible, just say/write “Mi corazon es tuyo”, hm?
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